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 Prénom  Kate  Nom  N/A
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 Date de départ  02/05/2005   Note: 3,2/5 - 29 vote(s).
 Description : Un carnet pour vous faire découvir mon pays, je suis australienne et j'habite dans le Victoria. Conseils, infos, suivez mon carnet pour découvrir Oz par une aussie.

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 Date du message : 03/04/2005
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 Tuyaux pour vivre parmi les australiens/australiennes





New topic, designed to help those who are going to stay long term in Australia and need to have a better understanding of Australians - their habits, their quirks, their problems, and especially their way of life and dealing with others...

As my text book and book of reference & explanation, I'll be using Robert Treborlang's famous 80s style book, "How to Be Normal in Australia" which you can read/refer to online here:  It's humourous (tres drole, en fait) and most of all, still quite true of Australians today throughout the majority of its chapters.

http://www.majormitchell.com.au/contents.html#benormal

There's also the rest of the site to browse, with some of his other books included:  http://www.majormitchell.com.au/

Lesson 1:

Important chapters to begin with:  the importance of being sorry - see chapter http://www.majormitchell.com.au/besorry.html  - it's a bit exaggerated, but can still be believed... especially about the frequency and number of times you must say that you're sorry.... I hear myself sometimes with "sorry I'm early for the meeting"   "sorry about that" (when it's not my fault) etc etc.

Especially you also need to understand that the whole 'no worries' attitude of Aussies doesn't mean that we have no problems, just that we are more likely to ignore problems and concentrate on having a good time instead, rather than talk about them.  See chapter: http://www.majormitchell.com.au/noworries.html  The "I've got it all under control" is a very famous comment, very common (whether the speaker has things under control or not - it can be another clue not to give advice too.

Aussi:  You need to learn the importance of not giving presents to your friends when in Australia (birthdays and Xmas are acceptable, but outside of these dates, Aussies are often very uncomfortable about receiving even small gifts....strange I know for people who know ok how to give...but somehow receiving is so much harder, and our usual response is often "you shouldn't have" plus embarrassed surprise.   Aussies going to parties usually just bring themselves (or a bit of extra alcohol)

You could try reading this chapter from 'how to be normal'  - http://www.majormitchell.com.au/generosity.html

It's a little exaggerated, but I think still has a lot of truth in it.

It explains what can happen if you give too many presents, but not the 'why not' - recent research of mine indicates that one of the reasons giving presents in 'ordinary time' doesn't go down well, is that it can be misunderstood as trying to 'buy' friendship with somebody and thus can arouse suspicion....

Dealing with aussies in general (even your friends) - resist the temptation to give them advice on their problems (if they even admit to you that they have real 'worries') unless they specifically ask (which they normally never will).  They just want to talk about it and have a listening ear, have you make a few sympathetic sighs here and there - they don't want advice as to what they should do, and should you give advice (and don't use the word 'should' here) it will probably be ignored anyway....

And in an argument/discussion with an Aussie, if you lose your temper, you lose the whole argument, because nobody is really going to take you seriously once you start getting angry - you'll more likely just be 'discounted' and your words not taken seriously (even from before the part where you got angry). So keep your cool, and keep speaking rationally and you may get somewhere....

Aussies may be allowed to complain a bit about their country & prime minister in general (not in depth)  terms from time to time, but DON'T you do it - not a good idea at all and you won't get away with it, and worse still, nobody will tell you why you suddenly feel as though people are avoiding you....another thing we don't do in Australia, is tell foreigners where they went wrong, what 'faux pas' they've just made....we just lose interest in them and they may have no idea why.

Next time: more on: how to LOOK like an aussie and fit in (once you have the slouch posture that I've seen on a few Frenchies who've been in Australia more than 6 months, I think you're more than halfway there...)

Dating tips for French guys with Aussie girls (at the present time, I've only known one Frenchie who's actually had an Aussie girlfriend, and not from lack of trying, so despite being well known for French charm, there must be something they're doing wrong.  I know quite a few French girls who have Aussie partners, so they're doing ok with it...

For a start: don't appear too enthusiastic when meeting an aussie girl for the first time (or next few times either). Don't make grand gestures, or draw too much attention to yourself. Think 'restrained'. 

If you show too much enthusiasm or are too flamboyant, you could even be misunderstood for a gay (which any straight guy in Australia wants to avoid at all costs, so they'd rather 'play it safe' and be restrained, even appear more-or less uninterested in the person when the opposite may be true.... it's called 'tension building', I believe, along with 'playing hard to get' or 'playing it cool' )

Australian women are, I believe, generally very independent, with many choosing to take the role of 'chaser' rather than be pursued by men, so that's why any moves towards one should be restrained to a point.... especially with women who've attended all girl secondary schools - I find this type far more willing to chase guys, and happiest & most comfortable that way.

Maximise your choices when meeting a woman (after making certain she knows you're not gay) by perhaps talking about cooking (especially if you like to cook), keeping in mind that the aussie unspoken male rules of "real men only cook BBQ" and "real men don't cook quiche" can really work for you, because though many Aussie guys feel this way, the girls DON'T and will surely be impressed by cooking skills.


Any natural good manners you have will also be great to exhibit as some kinds of Aussie guys can be 'yobbos' as we call them, not even opening shop doors for women, let alone car doors on a date.

Maybe independent Australian women are a little to blame for this state of things, but we never said we wanted to be THAT independent that manners were no longer necessary....

Stay tuned for more next time...

 


 


 

Note: 5/5 - 3 vote(s).
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Par Ozzvince

le 30/10/2006 à 14:32:47

Intéressants les tuyaux au sujet de vos habitudes et manières d'être. J'espère ne pas commettre de bourdes lol

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